Self-knowledge is essential to recognize your aims.
The better you know something, the better you can see what and why something is happening - which laws work in the structures.
Of course, this also applies especially to yourself. The better you know each other, the better you can understand and deal with yourself.
A very successful method is to observe your own reactions when you are upset, anger rises in you, or feel joy, satisfaction flows through you: it is always an aiml that has triggered these emotions. And you got to know each other better each time you recognized the aim.