... overcoming yourself
Here is some advice that is as simple as it is difficult:
You shouldn't give in to your feelings - which are nourished by wrong goals* - even if this should become very unpleasant, because the feelings urge you and torment you in order to be reached.
As a rule, these will dissolve sooner or later.
Attention creates brain processes
When attention is drawn to it through thoughts or feelings, the result is that the information from the senses fuels the brain.
The reason for this automatic process: One perceives the activities of the environment in daily life in order to possibly react to them. This mostly happens unconsciously and is almost a constant process.
As useful as this is usually, it is more disturbing when it comes to goals such as falling asleep, meditating, concentrating on certain topics, i.e. generally not noticing disturbing thoughts and feelings.
Without a doubt, this is usually difficult because you stop natural processes. But it is also unquestionable that this is sensible and possible with appropriate practice.
The reward is having more freedom to achieve your goals.
Hence, the best strategy is not to go into them. So, when they come up, with your will to stay where you were before, or concentrate on something else, or meditate ‘.
It is of course clear: if you give in to a wrong goal, then the feelings that oppress you immediately disappear.
But you shouldn't fob yourself off with the fact that if you give in to them now, you always have the opportunity not to do this again in the future. Because every time you give in, that behavior becomes more ingrained in you.
A strategy against wrong goals, i.e., to overcome oneself, is also: In a quiet moment - when you are not attacked by them, to look at them carefully and keep the consequences in mind, if you give in to them.
There are three types of false goals:
• Those who want to lead you down an unhealthy path (e.g., addiction)
• Who, like an athlete, do not train properly to achieve a goal
• And what one generally does not want or is contrary to one's feelings and will.
“Wrong goals” I call everything that is unhealthy and that creates corresponding behaviour or dependencies.
And these always work with feelings: that lead you to believe that you absolutely have to experience them.
Goals generally have the character of a challenge, i.e., they want to be achieved. Especially those who are strongly supported emotionally.
Since the brain* and the goals* it contains are not always right, because there are wrong goals among them, you should take a closer look.
So, observe yourself (your psyche) with your I (which is also located in the brain).
If you were defeated by a wrong goal, it would be good to ask yourself afterwards: What goals were behind it and what led to it? And then take a close look at them, try to change them, for example by creating a new goal that is supposed to replace or modify the old one. So, looking back, put yourself in these situations as closely as possible, observe, especially your feelings. To be better prepared for similar situations.
The advantages of looking at the process again after the negative goal has been satisfied are obvious: The great supporter of this addiction, the focus at that time, is currently switched off, so that now, if you look at it soberly, arguments and feelings could also play a role were excluded from him.
To get used to the situation again afterwards, to relive these feelings, could make it possible for the future: In similar situations, one acts at the same time with a developed counter-strategy, which is also primarily carried by feelings that are now being experienced in parallel. And aim to reshape the old one.
Negative feelings (like all goals) create the urge to be lived out. Often, they make you believe that without them you are missing out. Or something bad could happen (for example, that one's own beautiful world is no longer satisfied and goes under).
Finally, a quick look at some good resolutions:
► Why do you take on something?
Because something doesn't suit you - and you haven't been able to change it sustainably so far.
► Why is it so difficult to keep up with this?
Because habits want to continue to be carried out. They are goals that attract with positive feelings and hide everything that stands in the way of their achievement.
► How do they manage to assert themselves?
Through the midpoint mechanics. The knitting pattern of the psyche. This allows them to reduce or ignore everything that speaks against it. - So also, the good intentions.
► How could this be changed?
By following this process makes conscious, forms a goal that is also activated in the moment.
I.e., When the greed of the wrong target no longer manages to hog all attention and one looks the enemy inside clearly in the eye.