Feelings of anger

• Look at the 'wrong' target; what exactly does it want to achieve? For what reasons did it arise?

• Form a counter-aim out of feelings, which is interlinked with this - that is, always activated at the same time - and thus devaluates the wrong.

In the course of evolution (thousands of years later), cognitive skills then developed. With these one could recognize laws and then apply them in a targeted manner.

While feelings generally go according to the motto: What is similar can also be used for similar problems and solutions, cognition, for example, looks at these similarities, differentiates and seeks to see the rules according to which they run in order to change them, or replace other processes.

Summarized:

When anger rises in you, it can help (as I said) to be aware of two facts - of course only if the anger has not completely blinded you:

► You are the way you are.

► What happened had to happen as it happened.

(That doesn't mean that you should become phlegmatic, nor that you shouldn't work on yourself or your environment for the future.)

It doesn't do much to be angry with yourself, for example. This certainly does not change the past and may only allow your blind revenge (including yourself) to run free. You decrease your self-esteem and self-confidence.

As a rule in life it is like this: If something does not work out, then you should think about how you can do it better in the future.

And that should also apply to his anger.

Since we now know (which is to be hoped) that people are controlled by themselves - their psychological aims -it makes sense to ask about those who triggered the anger (or anger).

Now that it is well known (and hopefully so) that people are driven by themselves—their psychological aims — it makes sense to ask about those who caused the anger.

Once you have discovered the aims, you have an advantage: they can possibly be influenced so that they can no longer throw you off track with these emotions.

I think it's better to look at your anger first than to blindly submit to it.

And – in order to avoid similar behavior in the future, one should develop a strategy for self-knowledge.

Once again: Anger means that an intended aim has not been achieved and from the inside of the person the request, the urge to achieve this (or an alternative) can still arise - no matter how or by what means.

The anger is often projected outward; to other people, other living beings, inanimate objects that are supposed to be to blame. Often also on the fate that it is after you or on evil forces.

It influences the mood and creates sadness or resignation up to depression.

Unfortunately, one often does not get the idea that the anger is triggered by one's own aims or attitudes.

Because, as I said: many of the reactions occur because of wrong aims in oneself. With regard to one's own expectations of people and the environment.

Quite a few people get angry and curse each other if it does not lead to the result that one was striving for.

If one conquers this anger, and moves calmly further in the direction of the healthy aim, finally achieves it (e.g. through compromises), then one is satisfied in the psyche and proud of oneself.

Everyone has ideals of themselves - how they want or should be. This includes also often not to make mistakes, to be perfect.

With regard to these causes, you could find what you are looking for with your reference persons, the people you grew up with, the culture in which you lived or now live, and with the people you are with now (because the idealized aims often cause anger if they are not achieved).

For example, if you are angry that something did not work as you expected, then an unconscious metaphysical or mystical belief, which has smuggled itself in the course of genetic development, often plays a role. Here you could make it clear: Objects have no will and don't want to annoy you.

There are ways to avoid anger (as I mentioned):

► Saying to yourself (as explained above): "What happened had to happen as it happened", because everything happens on the basis of substances that run according to laws.

► And / or try to research the trigger, to reconsider, to ask what part you have in it and how you can change, possibly to modify the aim or to give up completely.

In order to get to know each other better, you could observe yourself (with your SELF, which is also located in the brain). One would, inter alia, find that the same processes often occur. Here would also be an approach to changing one's habits.

Because you are of course dependent on your psyche. And for harmony and balance, it's good to get along with yourself. Mental contentment and balance is shown when the midpoints harmonize with each other.

This is not achieved by violence, nor by punishing oneself with curses.

Once again: Since the reactions (anger and anger) ultimately come from one's own point of view and attitude, one should usually start with oneself when making changes. A solution could be created by asking how I could behave more moderately and appropriately in similar situations.

Once you have found an answer, you could link it to the spontaneous reaction.

More precisely: Form an aim with this answer, so that every time the impulse wants to evoke the negative behaviour, this is also activated and thus dampens and regulates one's own behaviour.

If one succeeds in doing this, then the anger will also decrease in the future because the aims have been defused.

Since we are all driven by aims, of course, creating new aims is far more effective than curse yourself.

This is the key to change.

A little suggestion for dealing with unpleasant incidents that had happened:

If you go by the motto: What happened had to happen the way it happened, then there really is no point in getting angry.

Questions like: "How could you do that?" "Can't you pay attention?" and similar allegations would no longer be asked regarding the past.

The further and more intensively one investigates the situation in which something happened, the clearer it becomes that it had to happen exactly as it did.

In the future, of course, people will behave differently in similar situations once they have learned and gained experience - only in the situation at that time there was only one possibility (due to legal processes).

There are many, if – then. Only for the past, i.e. if something happened, they are of no use.

But of course you can use them for the future.

An advice:

Another little analysis: When someone is angry about something they did themselves, it is often the case that at the moment when they are angry, the situation at the time comes back to them like a flash flooded. So, he acts as if he just did that.

Summary:

• Is the aim really that important?

• Is it just an ideal or a wish?

• How could it be modified?

• Don't you accept yourself the way you are?

And finally, a word about brooding. (The word comes from digging: wanting to bring more and more to light by thinking about it, in order to find the causes, for example for a behavior.

"Definition (Wikipedia): Rumination is a form of thinking in which thoughts revolve around several topics or a specific problem without coming to a solution."

It usually saps energy and doesn't do anything unless you think about the incident, the topic, etc. to find out what the goals were and then change them.

To do this, you try to put yourself in the position of the time as accurately as possible. The better one succeeds in this, the more clearly one can see that this had to happen exactly as it did.

This has two advantages:

• The brooding stops.

• You learn to understand the world and yourself better; how the laws of that time had worked.

A suggestion:

What you should avoid as far as possible is to ask yourself with a reproach or self-accusation of guilt: "How could you do that!?

Because:

1. It had to happen because of the laws.

2. As a rule, it is often difficult to put yourself back precisely into the situation of the past with all the circumstances and feelings.

3. If you really managed to do that, you would usually come to the conclusion that it had to work exactly like this.

4. In order to achieve a change, it is sufficient to generate a different reaction for similar situations in the future - if necessary, to practice this in the 'dry state'.

Again: The way to the solution is to recognize your aims.